The Ramblings of a Menopausal Woman

I’m splitting up my Spark Midlife post into two parts. One about the fun parts of the event and one for what I ended up taking away from it. So let’s get to it.

About two weeks ago, I went to Spark Midlife, a get feral and find your joy women’s retreat in Portland, Oregon. I had a hard time describing what it was to others, partially because I wasn’t even sure myself. I started calling it Midlife Crisis Camp. I realize now that I was wrong, Midlife Clarity Camp would be more accurate.

How did I find out about Spark? A friend of mine had sent me an Instagram reel from Thrive With Kira. It showed some pics of a Roper Romp from a previous event in San Diego, along with some good reminders for Gen X women. The last slide said there was another one coming up in July in Portland. I told my friend as a joke “Well shit, I don’t have anywhere to be in July. I ain’t got no job.” The seed was planted! I couldn’t stop thinking about going, but I kept hesitating. I wasn’t used to spending money on myself like this. What if this was some sort of IG scam? What if it was some annoying woo-woo type thing? After a few days I decided to say “Fuck it” and just go for it. After all, I was taking this year off to try and get myself in a happier place and feel like myself again. If it was legit, it was exactly the type of thing I was looking for. If it wasn’t, I got a vacation in Portland and I had never been to Oregon before.

After I signed up, I posted about it on the socials and my PRB friend Shelly decided to sign up as well. I would have happily gone by myself, but having a friend with me was even better. It also gave us a chance to get to know each other outside of Punk Rock Bowling. I figured if it did turn out to be something we didn’t like we could still have fun.

When I walked in on that first day, I had no idea what to expect. What I got was a group of 40 of the most badass women I had ever met and a weekend I won’t soon forget.

At each table there were squeaky chickens, fluffy pens, sunglasses, tiny glittery ducks, stickers, and more. The one thing that wasn’t there that first day was Kira. She had come down with a stomach virus a couple days before and was still down for the count. Luckily, one of the women that had previously worked with her was able to take over the presentation for the day, and she did great.

Like I said, I need to break up Spark into two parts. This post is about the fun aspects of the weekend, so I am skipping over what I learned that first day for now.

During the day, it was about educating ourselves. In the afternoon/evenings it was about having fun, releasing energy, and making new friends. That first night was crazy wig bowling. We had a blast! Everyone really got into the costume aspect of the event. Most everyone had a wig and their shiniest outfits on. So sparkly! We bowled and had a good time getting to know each other a little better. Since my friend Shelly normally has vivid hair, she bought herself an auburn wig for her crazy wig. lol

After bowling we realized there was a drag show at the plaza down the street from the hotel, so several of us headed down there to dance and enjoy ourselves. It gave us all chance to get to know each other a little better and have some fun.

Day two, Kira was back and I finally got to meet the person that put this all together. We had a good day learning about letting shit go and unlearning the bullshit that was taught to us as women while we were growing up. That meant that our fun activities needed some good release. We went to Portland ADX, an art workspace. We made disco crowns then had a rage painting party to let shit go.

What do you do after you release all of your rage? Gotta fill that space with something so it might as well be baby goat snuggles. That’s right, we had a baby goat party! They are so cute when they are trying to head butt you.

Day three we worked on finding our joy again in our day to day lives. That afternoon it was finally time for the Mrs. Roper Scavenger Hunt. Originally we were supposed to split up in groups and do the scavenger hunt tasks, but we decided it was more fun in a group of approximately 40 women dressed as Mrs. Roper. Our scavenger hunt included tasks like serenade a stranger, do the hustle, have a dance off with a stranger. Anytime someone helped us with our tasks, I would give them a tiny glittery duck, aka “A Duck of Joy”. We had so much fun.

As luck would have it, we were there during the Portland Pride weekend. It was also the weekend the Nordstrom was celebrating its 125th anniversary with a block party. There were a ton of events all weekend that ended up overlapping with ours. We danced at the block party, an impromptu flash mob so to speak. Later on we found a a group wedding at the plaza down the street from our hotel. Twenty-two couples were getting married. We did what any respectable group of Ropers would do and made a Soul Train dance tunnel for the couples and guests to dance through. It was the most fabulous day of creating joy within ourselves, and spreading that out to the world around us.

All in all, signing up for Spark was one the best choices I have made in a long time. It felt really good connecting to that silly fun person I usually am. It felt so good to smile and laugh that much. I gave myself an opportunity to have some fun and opened myself up to making new friends. It can be hard stepping out of your comfort zone and trying new things, but I promise the payoff can be extraordinary when you do.

The outside world can be so difficult and frustrating at times. It’s nice that my brain isn’t adding to that difficulty now. We all occasionally need a reminder to be kind to ourselves, and to give ourselves grace when we are having a hard time. Life is hard, so maybe we should make finding joy easier. Whether it’s dancing in your living room on a Tuesday night or handing out tiny glittery ducks of joy to strangers, find your spark and enjoy every fucking minute of it. You deserve every minute of happiness you find, don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.

Sparkle Sparkle Bitches!