The Ramblings of a Menopausal Woman

May 4, 2006

👋

That’s what it started with. Just a little wave. I was a nervous about sending that first message after so many years, so I started with a little wave emoji. I was reaching out to my best friend from high school. We had lost contact long before everyone had social media to keep up with friends from our past lives. I had looked for him a couple times once social media became a thing, but no luck. Until one day when I was talking to a mutual friend that had kept up with him and she gave me his email address and phone number.

At the time I had a Motorola Razr, so texting wasn’t really an option, but there was instant messaging (texting of the olden days). It was kind of clunky but easier than calling. So I sent a little wave.

👋

After that I sent that awkward message you send to someone you haven’t talked to in forever. Then I waited…

I don’t know how long it took for the initial response, but I can tell you those moments lasted forever in my mind. I didn’t even know what time zone he was in. When Clay finally responded he did remember me and we had a quick conversation over IM where I found out he was in Chicago and about to go to a meeting. He called me a few hours later and we ended up chatting for hours. About a month later he came out to visit me in Los Angeles and it was like a day hadn’t passed. I had my best friend back. I showed him around Los Angeles for the weekend until he headed home.

Not too long after that it was several months of flying back and forth across the country. We both decided something had to change, our bank accounts would not survive the long distance thing. I was visiting him for Thanksgiving and my friend Angel called me. She was worried because her landlord had just sold the house they were renting and they had to find a place to live during the holidays.

It gave me an idea on how to solve her problem and our dilemma. A little over a month later my friends moved into my house in L.A. and I went to Chicago. Hindsight being 20/20, I do wish I had chosen a different month than December to move there. It was a good way to check and see if things could work between us without completely blowing up my life in California. It gave me a backup plan. (It’s been 20 years and I think Clay believes I still have a backup plan.)

My friends took care of my house, my car, and my cats. If it worked out, I would get the rest of my stuff later. I basically moved via UPS. After all, most of my Southern California wardrobe was not fit for a Chicago winter. One of Clay’s favorite stories is when I first moved there we were watching TV one night and I said “What’s that little dash in front of the temperature? That’s not a real thing that people live at, is it?” He just laughed and shook his head. I hadn’t touched snow in 13 years. I was not prepared! That first winter was an adjustment. Clay jokes that maybe he should have gone into sales.

All in all, it ended up being the best decision I have ever made. I haven’t needed that backup plan yet, but we’ll see how the next 20 years go.