The Ramblings of a Menopausal Woman

I know, I owe you all the next part of the story of my kidney stones and my Faby (aka Faux Baby). I’ve been slacking. In my defense, my world has been so bizarre recently. That’s whole other story, but maybe I’ll tell you about someday.

Let’s see, where were we…

Oh yeah, I was the 50 year old infertile woman with kidney stones and the surprise “miracle pregnancy” in the ER waiting room who was waiting for her husband to come back so she could tell him. Can you hear the giddiness in my voice?

Clay walked in, with snacks and water for when I was allowed to have something to eat or drink again. He brought me gum, so I could at least have something to distract me from how thirsty I was. Since they were worried I could be obstructed I wasn’t allowed to have anything to eat or drink until they could check, but my CT was canceled and now I had to wait for an ultrasound. By now I think it was around 2 or 3 pm and I had only 1/2 a cup of coffee all day.

Here is this wonderful man walking up to me, ready to do what he can to take care of me, and I am about to make his world implode. As Clay is walking up, the PA comes back to tell me the blood test confirmed “the pregnancy” with a HCG level of 8. Clay is looking confused, he hasn’t even sat down yet. I just blurted it out, “I’m pregnant.”

I think he probably was prepared for me to say absolutely anything else, but that. Even brain worms would have been more believable. Everything in his hands hit the floor. I remember thinking I hope he didn’t crack his phone.

The PA tells us with an HCG level of 8 it is like I have been pregnant 5 minutes. “Whenever you last had sex was probably it.”

I think probably everything went through our heads. Clay started going the same what ifs I went through. If it was true what did that mean for my medical care options in 2025. When do they legally start counting? Because my last period was in 2020, so I would be around 260 weeks pregnant? At one point he looked at me and said “We’ll go wherever we have to so you can have the best care”

Because think about it. Odds of a live birth less than 1%, very real chance of pregnancy killing me, and something we’ve always wanted all wrapped up in to one. If it ended up being real.

We both agreed our best hope for one, if not both, of us to avoid going through the worst day of our lives was Menopause.

Never thought I would root for Menopause in my life.

Hi, me again. Then again, who else would it be? I wrote most of this post a few weeks ago. But after a multitude of tests because of my kidney stones and the faby, I finally had surgery today to have the stones removed.

I’m home now. The stones are out and the pregnancy test they did before my procedure came back negative. So no more stones and no more faby.

Yay Menopause!